Monday, January 25, 2010

Sometimes marketing baffles me

So there is an Exceptionally Distressing condition that impacts the male of our species, and within the last decade a number of products have become widely available to treat said condition. Apparently the condition is so Excessively Disturbing that the market for such products is great. I expect anyone who has ever had an email account has received spam offering these pharmaceutical products for sale. I am no exception, even though I am the wrong gender to find these products beneficial. (Indeed, I should say that if men affected by the condition relied upon female counterparts to purchase the products sales might well go down.) I noticed, around about the third week of November, a rather drastic increase in the number of emails in my spam folder, and upon looking further, I noticed that the drastic increase was solely accounted for by sales offers for products to treat the Extremely Devastating condition. I pondered this. I haven't changed gender or social activity level, so I began to wonder if the increase was related to the holiday season. Does the condition occur with greater frequency over the holidays, so that sellers are trying to strike while the iron is hot? (or not, as it happens...) Or, does the condition occur with less frequency, so that sellers have overstock they wish to unload? I cannot imagine. The trend has continued, past Christmas, past New Year's, past Epiphany. I'll see if it tapers off after Candlemas, but the approach of Valentine's Day may signal a continued barrage of spam. One determined spammer sends roughly three identical posts a day despite receiving no response whatsoever from my email address. This must be at least a mildly lucrative business given the level of email blitz which, while cheap, is not completely free. I wonder if the products being marketed by the spammers are even real. So often they are not. My favorite spammers send me offers for GENUINE Rolex replicas. Why have a FAKE fake Rolex if you can have a REAL fake Rolex?

I suspect I will never know why my spam folder has gotten so overloaded with products for the Eternally Depressing condition. I suppose it could be worse, but I really DON'T need to know how. Give me a good GENUINE Rolex replica any time!


Blogger MFA Mama said...

Bwahahaha! Love your clever euphemisms with the same initials as the Entirely Deflating condition in question! I guess marketing to the female partners of men suffering from Exasperating Deflation would depend on whether the male partners were any good at putting good use when it's actually functioning. Personally if my husband suffered from that problem I'd probably pay quite a bit to solve it, although with the economy being what it is (and perhaps that's caused more of the Euphemistically Described to occur than usual?) I might just shrug and suggest that he put his considerable skills as a cunning linguist to use in adult conversation instead. HEE!

1:33 PM  
Blogger terri c said...

Many would say that Adult Conversation is especially to be prized. Cunning Linguistic skills and times of good Fellowship can indicate strong relational compatibility.

1:54 PM  
Blogger StorytellERdoc said...

LOL..funny post. fake fake rolex vs. real fake rolex had me cracking up! well done.

9:56 PM  

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