Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Now, look here, God...

So, I got rear-ended on top of everything else. The other driver got the ticket, and the little Beetle bumper is just kind of scratched--trunk still pops open as intended, etc--but my curved spine means that head protection devices aren't very effective, so I had that pleasurable sensation of head flopping back and forth like a fish out of water. Man.

If God wants to send me a message I need a different vehicle of communication (pun intended) than a Ford Explorer.

Finished the paper on which I was procrastinating. I doubt the last few pages make much sense as they were written post-whiplash, but at present I have to say, too bad. I have written the required number of pages, and I figure that has to count for something. The professor of my favorite class is flexible re: the due date for our final paper, so I am saving that as my reward for completing the other two things I have to have done by Thursday. That final paper is one I'm enjoying working on.

So here's some of the struggle I'm stuck in: I feel more and more strongly that I do NOT want to be a parish pastor. I DO want to be a chaplain (and some other things, maybe). And I need to be ordained, and a lot of the stuff I have to do, to be ordained, would be most relevant if I wanted to be a parish pastor. AND the job market for chaplains is terrible. AND I dread my advanced field placement/clergy candidacy, for the reasons in yesterday's post mainly--it's going to be hard.

My fave class, the one with the paper I like, is my pastoral theology class. The professor gave me some wonderful affirmations on my second paper. Now, in my time of doubt and struggle, I keep going back and looking at his comments. It helps.

Send some good thoughts/prayers to two very special friends who are facing bad news today, if you would?

I am off to bed now, having had a long, healing cuddle with Wilson Wolfhound, who does his puppy job of Making Everything Better most admirably.


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