Sunday night short musings

..short because I need sleep. Congregational meeting followed by pot luck dinner tonight after two services in AM. Lots of changes going on in church--the only constant in church life is change.

Reading Ted Haggard's letter of apology to his church brings lots of mixed emotions. On the one hand, would that all of us would be so clear in accepting responsibility when we sin. Note I do not say "if." There's some achingly direct wording there. No attempts to weasel out or sugar coat the reality. For this I have respect.

On the other hand, I realize how much shame for him and his congregation is tied up in the fact that he transgressed with a man and not a woman. To me of course there is no moral difference at all, and I wish it could be thus for them as well. I wish he could stay away from James Dobson, who will not help Rev. and Mrs. Haggard to put the factor of orientation on the table in an open way, I fear. To folks like Rev. Dobson, same-gender-loving feelings can only be a sign of temptation and failure. Who knows if Ted Haggard is gay; I certainly don't know, but it seems an important question in the future of the marriage, at very least; and I would think it important to find out what the image of sex with a man actually means to Haggard. And it is hard to ask oneself those questions when paralyzed with shame.